Buy Clothes Made Of Wine, Never Be Thirsty Again

I

f there's any piece of clothing that screams "barely functioning alcoholic," it's a dress made out of wine. Now, for the wino in all of us, scientists have created just that, along with T-shirts, swimwear, and more, all by adding a bacteria to wine, which produces a cotton-like substance.

Lead researcher Gary Cass collaborated with artist Donna Franklin to create a line of women's clothing, and says he thinks that "fermented clothing" could become mainstream one day. While we don't necessarily disagree with him, it's pretty safe to say that wearing booze to the office will probably never be mainstream, unfortunately.

The fabric is created by adding a bacteria to wine, which turns the wine into vinegar and forms a scum on the surface.

"The project redefines the production of woven materials," he said. "By combining art and science knowledge with a little inventiveness, the ultimate goal will be to produce a bacteria-fermented seamless garment that forms without a single stitch."

While the concept sounds intriguing, does that mean that the clothes are one-time wear? Does the wearer put the cultured vino on their skin and wait for it to congeal? How do you get it off (or on, for that matter)? So many questions!

Apparently, the fabric is created by adding a bacteria called acetobacter to vats of wine to convert it into vinegar, after which a scum-like surface gradually forms. Hmm...sounds like a waste of perfectly  drinkable wine to us.

The scum-layer is then "harvested" and dried/shaped on an inflatable mannequin, and when the mannequin is deflated, the "clothing" remains. Unfortunately (and boy does this sound inconvenient), the clothes are extremely delicate when worn and tear like tissue paper and need to be kept damp when worn.

To combat these issues, the research team is working on finding a way to strengthen the material.

Til then, the concept seems wildly impractical, especially with the potential for people trying to drink your scum-dress. Also, who wants to wear something that could be referred to as scum? We'll pass, at least for now.