Frat Boy Holidays

K

iss you, you're Irish? Black Wednesday? It seems like every year, there's another "holiday" that people use just as an excuse to drink. As adults, it seems a little silly to need an excuse to drink, but the logic makes sense: if you're slamming PBR tall boys on a Tuesday night but it's the night before Fourth of July, you're not binge-drinking, you're celebrating! If you're shooting tequila like it's water with your high school buddies, you're not an alcoholic, you're having a reunion! These sorts of parties are most-often "celebrated" by a certain type of person, and without further ado, here's our list of the best and brightest (and drunkest?) "Frat Boy Holidays."

Next time you want to crack a cold one in the afternoon or buy a handle of Patron, don't wait for a "holiday." This is what being an adult is about: making terrible weeknight decisions and paying for them the next morning at work.

St. Patrick's Day
Although St. Patrick's Day isn't strictly for the 'bros, no sane person would ever drink green beer, especially when said green beer is just dyed Miller Lite. Or rather, no GDI would (wink, wink). You're not Irish. You've got dark brown hair and your last name is Italian. Who do you think you're fooling?

Cinco de Mayo
Similar to St. Pat's, Cinco de Mayo is just a big reason for dudes with ripped up undershirts to drink Corona and eat tacos. We call that Friday night sometimes, but they need an official day to do it.

Black Wednesday
Black Wednesday has grown to be one of the biggest drinking days of the year, strangely. It's the night before Thanksgiving, and it's when you and all your high school pals are back home in the burbs, drinking at the crummy bars near your parents' houses. No one wants to go to "Sam's Corner Bar" any other time, that's for sure. Just make sure you guys call a cab after all those Jager bombs, mmk?

On Opening Day, where else would the bros be but sitting in the bleachers, drinking overpriced beer?

SPORTS!
Okay, this one is two-fold; opening day for baseball and the first day of March Madness are both days that have the booze flowin' freely. Draw up your brackets and cheer for the team that always loses anyways, and whatever you do, don't forget the case of Bud Light Lime.

Next time you want to crack a cold one or buy a handle of Patron, don't wait for some dumb holiday to do it. Like Nike says, just do it. No holiday necessary, it's 5 o'clock somewhere, etc. This is what being a "grown-ass adult" is all about—making stupid decisions like getting hammered on a non-holiday and going to work hungover. Drink up.