"Milking" Is The Latest Online Stupidity
New viral trend threatens to out-stupid "planking" and "owling."
Web2Carz Senior Writer
Published: November 27th, 2012
"Milking" takes the banality and pointlessness of all the previous photo trends and adds the element of wastefulness.
ave you ever read one of the dozens of think-pieces about the "millennial"generation? These insufferable articles appear every decade or so, and they always try to somehow ascribe a couple of defining characteristics to an entire group of people—usually involving how selfish or entitled they are—but they always seem to miss the point. One thing all of these articles fail to point out is the one thing that's true of millennials that wasn't true of any previous generation: they like to take pictures of themselves doing really stupid, pointless things and post them on the internet.
These foolish trends have come and go several times over the past years; there's been "planking" (in which people lay flat on their stomachs, planklike, in unusual locations), "owling" (in which people crouch and stare in an owl-like pose), "horsemanning" (in which people pose in ways to make themselves appear to be headless), "teapotting" (in which people pose as if acting out the children's song "I'm a Little Teapot"), and others ("coning," "tombstoning," "deading," "koalaing," "toweling," "Batmanning"). But now comes word of the stupid viral trend to put all other stupid viral trends to shame: "milking."
Fear not, "milking" doesn't involve cows, teats, or any odd sexual fetish. It's much dumber than that. Milking involves taking a picture of yourself, fully clothed, preferably in public, pouring milk over your head.
Milking takes the banality and pointlessness of all the previous photo trends and adds the element of wastefulness. Whereas planking, owling, and horsemanning don't cost anything and don't require any cleanup, milking requires you to buy milk and waste it, and then have to clean yourself and your clothes in the aftermath.
That's a lot of effort to look like a total jackass. But maybe you have to be a millennial to understand.